Musings: Finding My Way Back Home

When I was a senior in high school, I was definitely one of those kids who couldn’t wait to get the heck outta dodge. I knew where I was going to college. I had already planned the student organizations I wanted to be involved in and knew exactly what I wanted to study. I had a plan, and the only thing standing between me and the freedom of college was that final summer at home.

I was ready to experience something bigger than the life I had always known in our small town. I was ready to meet new people, experience life in a new city, and generally just learn more about the world around me. I was always more of the independent type, so my parents didn’t have to push me at all when it was time to leave the nest.

And man, does being one of 33,000 students allow you to experience something “bigger” than yourself. UGA overwhelmed and excited me all at the same time. And I loved it.

What surprised me the most, though, was how God brought my husband and me together in His knowing, sovereign way. My mindset going into college was not to get in a serious relationship right off the bat. But God’s plans were different (and so much better) than mine. I ended up meeting Kyle only days after moving away from home. To put it very simply, we started to “study together,” eventually fell in love, and then got married four years later. Life took us from one college town to another in Augusta, Georgia, where we spent almost three years for Kyle to earn his doctorate in physical therapy.

Fast forward to Spring 2013, and it was finally time to buy our first home together. Because of jobs and other circumstances, it brought us right back to where it all began for me. Five minutes down the road from my parents, to be exact.

Life has a funny way of bringing us back home, doesn’t it?

To be honest, moving back to the town where I grew up wasn’t an easy transition for me at first. There are some things about this town that annoyed me back then that still annoy me today. And the confused glances from people I knew before meant constantly explaining that yes, I do actually live here again. There was also the feeling that old friends who’ve been here all along had moved on and made other relationships without me, and I wasn’t exactly sure how I fit back into it all. It was an awkward transition, at best.

Through the awkwardness, I struggled with why God brought us here. Is this really where we’re supposed to be? Did we buy a house here because it felt like the comfortable, familiar thing to do?

If only I had known then what I know now. God was faithful to answer my questions and my doubts, and He reassured me that His work is not done here yet. I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be in this season. And He didn’t have to, but He has brought so many blessings with it.

The closeness to my family, for one, is something I genuinely treasure now as an adult. We can have weeknight meals together, call each other up to go on a walk, I can have spontaneous girl time with my mom, sisters, (and now my baby niece!). We can talk about our struggles and encourage each other face to face. It’s the best, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

And my fears about friendships? Turns out those were totally unfounded. The old friendships are still there, some stronger than ever. There are new ones as well, and I just wasn’t expecting the abundance in this area. There are so many people the Lord has brought into this community in the same walk of life as Kyle and me, especially in our church family, and I know God has something big in mind for this generation.

My heart is especially full of gratitude for the women in my small group. We've laughed, cried, and prayed together, there have been late night road trips, we've seen signs of life at each other's homes with laundry on the couch and dishes in the sink, and we're about to add two precious new babies into the mix. We group text each other almost daily for encouragement and prayer and general hilarity. There is so much to be thankful for, and sometimes I have to laugh at myself that I ever doubted God in this area. Not to say there wasn't/isn't any hard work required on my part--there certainly is. Friendships as an adult require intentionality and hard work, just like Lara Casey has been talking about in her #FruitfulSummer series. I couldn't have said it better myself when she said:

"When we surrender our fears, take leaps of faith, and focus on progress, not perfection, we begin cultivating what matters—what lasts longer than us. Relationships begin to bloom in soil that once felt lifeless."    

[Celebrating Liz's baby shower]

I think this is why reading The Peach Keeper meant so much to me last year. It was almost like I was reading my life and thoughts play out on the pages of a novel. One of the struggles for the main character was living back in her hometown as an adult, and this quote in particular stood out to me:

"People adapt. People change. You can grow where you're planted. She slowly began to realize she'd grown to like this place far more than she'd ever thought she would."              

So to sum up my rambling, I have grown to really love this community. I can appreciate why my parents thought this was a great place to raise us, and I’m excited about the possibility of raising my own children here, too (Lord willing). One day they may be clambering to get away, just like me. But hopefully, just like me, they can come to know it’s ok if life eventually leads them back home.

About Musings: 
Musings are thoughts that we have on literature-related things that don't necessarily fall into neat categories. These posts will tend to be rambling and, at times, philosophical. Books affect our everyday lives, and these posts are where we explore the intersection between life and literature.

Other Musings Posts:
What Is Love? | God As Other | Christmas Hymns